What is 5-PATH® Hypnosis?

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When searching for a system of hypnosis that would best help my clients overcome their blockages on their road to success, I found that most of the instructional courses I could find weren’t actually offering a form of hypnosis that was systematic at all. Some even bragged they offered “shortcuts” and “cheat-sheets” to “quick fixes.”  What the hell? I genuinely want to help people take control in their lives, not offer them a quick-fix or require they suppress or ignore their feelings! Thankfully, I was introduced to 5-PATH®.

I genuinely want to help my clients take control in their lives, not offer them a quick-fix or require they suppress or ignore their feelings!

Simply put, 5-PATH® Hypnotherapy allows the hypnotist to go far beyond what most hypnotists can do in a hypnosis session. Because 5-PATH® takes a systematic approach when working with clients, 5-PATHers® go beyond merely suggesting changes and using  visualization techniques offered by so many other hypnotists — which only bring about limited or temporary results.

5-PATHers® take difficult cases and help most people resolve their problems, usually in 4-6 sessions. 

5-PATHers® use modern hypnotic induction (no swinging watches or hokey gadgets are used), to take clients through each phase of the process, customizing each phase for the client’s needs, making sure that their hypnosis experience is completely professional, confidential and effective. As 5-PATHers®, we are trained to find the actual cause of the client’s problem and neutralize and even eliminate it. 5-PATHers® are even able to deal with issues that could be causing problems that the client may not have thought of such as internal conflicts. Because the 5-PATH® process uses therapeutic & hypnotic techniques, applied in five phases over an average of four to six sessions, the approach allows clients to be more successful and experience long term and even permanent results.

Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, or any other stressful issue, you should know that there is hope.

 


Micki Allen is a proud 5-PATHer®, a certified hypnosis professional trained directly under Cal Banyan, the creator of 5-PATH® Hypnotherapy.

Help! Our Sex Life Sucks

Are You in Love, but your Sex Life Sucks? In this video, Micki shares why many people find their sex lives lacking even with the one they love — and what they can do about it.

The number 1 reason for PAIN involved with SEX Revealed [Guest Post by Myola Woods]

One in Three Women experiences pain during sex. Why is this so … and can we do something about it?

The good news is, we can do something about it. Imagine living in a world where people had sex and felt pleasure and ecstasy – we would be living in a new paradigm.

Here it is, the number 1 reason for painful sex is (insert drum roll)…….

Tension…. ( And no, I don’t mean the good sexy sexual tension )… I mean body tension, mental tension, emotional tension, a spiritual tension of oneself.

When we have tension in our bodies – in simple terms – when our nervous system is in fight and flight, our psoas muscle (along with others) contract, upsetting our digestion, our pelvis and doesn’t send the arousing messages we want…and need in our bodies.

Even if we can get our nervous system to relax, often we have years of tension in our pelvises and genitals. I hear you saying “Myola… please explain!???”

Have you ever had or noticed tension in your neck or shoulders? Our pelvises and genitals are no different as body parts they store tension and in particular, they also have added tension from possibly years of uncomfortable menstruating, birthing, holding, contracting, not to mention if there are trauma and abuse.

With all this built up muscular and body contraction and tension, it can be very difficult to have pleasure or… to even notice pleasure and arousal!!!

All this tension, how do we let it go…

Here are my 5 steps to REMOVING TENSION in and from the body:

  1. Slow down and breath deeply, notice what is happening in your body, are you aware of the tension, where is it? If you bring further attention to your pelvis… what do you notice?
  2. Often the word ‘relax’ does not help, after working with many clients the word ‘soften’ seems to have a better result… try words on for yourself and allowing the body to soften, hmmm asking where else can my body soften? How much more could I soften.
  3. Put your hands on your pelvis / and or genitals and intending to breath into these areas and notice what is happening, what can you notice with your hands and what can you notice from the inside of the body as you are holding it?
  4. Is there anything to be spoken about, often tension is caused because we hold back our emotions, our words, our feelings – the good, the bad and the ugly if not expressed WILL find a way to be stored in the body.  It is not always appropriate or possible to have to speak with an actual person, it is more often important that the body feels and finds a way to express itself.
  5. Ask the body, I know we think the body knows nothing and often we override it and tell it what to do, eat and wear. When we build communication with the body in some of the simplest conversations we build trust and know, we can then move to more crucial topics.  One of the best ways is to ask the body if it is ready for intimacy, sex and penetration, because it is happening either ‘to’ or ‘with’ the body…. Which would YOU prefer?

These steps take practice, they take time, they take slowness to really appreciate our bodies, the messages and how it speaks to and through us.

Many of my clients come to me in pain and they have tried many, many, many ways (that’s lots!) to get out of the pain, for all of them it is a journey of deep self discovery, softening and opening to a new way of being

When most of my new clients come to me, the pleasure was really the last thing on their minds… they just didn’t want pain!… Once the pain was taken care of and in stages, they learned, remembered, enjoyed and looked forward to pleasure as their new ‘normal’.

Pleasure is a paradigm a choice and we can move from PAIN to PLEASURE…..With a whole lotta fun in between!!!

Let’s get started… your transformation begins now!

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Myola Woods is an Author, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Somatic Sex Educator and International Intimacy & Relationship Coach.

Myola is a pioneer with courage who bravely speaks about the things that make most of us uncomfortable… Myola will gently lead you out of your comfort zone and into the zone of personal growth and higher self awareness.

Myola specialises in teaching individuals and couples the art of connection, creating and cultivating the choice of arousal, to deepen intimacy, sensation and pleasure … even if it has been a very long time!

As a Sexual being, mother of 4 teenagers and pleasure enthusiast, Myola appreciates the time constraints, daily and social pressures, that can play havoc on our erotic lives. Myola teaches ways to explore and enhance your love making in everyday life. Using techniques and practices that can turn you, and your life, ON.

Take your intimate life from ordinary to extraordinary! Have the orgasms you have read and dreamed about….. YOU deserve them!

So, if you have had enough of mediocre, ready for change and desiring intimacy, connection and arousal, STOP wishing and hoping and START Now! Contact Myola TODAY!. myola@eroticcoaching.com.au 0423919270 www.eroticcoaching.com.au

The Merry Month of May…sturbation

Traditional May Celebrations

Traditionally, the month of May marks the return of springtime in the Northern Hemisphere. The first day of May, also known as May Day, is still celebrated in many parts of the globe. The ancient Celts called May Day “Beltane”—the day halfway between spring and summer as the time of fecundity and growth.

Because of its pagan origins, over the centuries, the May Day celebrations were actually banned. But they kept reappearing and, over time, the spring dances and festivals associated with it became more accepted. The revelries were adopted by other cultures with less sexual tones so that now, even religious persons anticipate the month for various reasons.

May as International Masturbation Month

The first National Masturbation Day was observed May 14, 1995, after a sex-positive retailer declared the day in honor of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who suggested that masturbation be added as part of the sex education curriculum in the United States. If only our young people were so fortunate! Anyhooo…. The prominent day was soon adopted by other Western countries and is now so popular a concept that May is celebrated as International Masturbation Month.

Fact vs Fiction about Masturbation

For the record, masturbation is totally natural — and yes, it is normal to masturbate, whether you’re sexually active in a relationship or not. There are tons of myths meant to scare you into thinking masturbation is wrong or bad. They’re actually scare-tactics left over from a bygone era. If you haven’t seen my video which dispels common masturbation myths, you may watch it here.

If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of masturbation, especially for religious reasons, you may find some helpful information here. If you’re unsure about finding your pleasure zones for masturbation, be sure to check out my article on Searching for Your Buried Pleasure here. Not only is masturbation completely natural, masturbation even has these potential health benefits:

  • releases sexual tension
  • relieves muscle tension
  • eases headaches
  • relieves menstrual cramps
  • reduces stress and anxiety
  • helps you sleep better
  • improves your self-esteem and body image
  • helps treat various sexual problems
  • strengthens the muscle tone in your pelvic floor (which supports your bladder, uterus, and anal area)

Masturbation, whether solo or with your partner (mutual masturbation), can also significantly improve your love life. It allows you to both be vulnerable with one another in a loving way, which always improves communication with a trusted loved one. Learning your pleasure points and those of your lover is also a terrific way to communicate intimately with your lover and help you both bring more pleasure to one another during lovemaking.

You Have a Right to Enjoy Your Body and Your Sexuality

Our bodies and our sexuality are both God-given gifts. May is a time to celebrate both fertility and growth; as you can imagine, this time of year is great for getting in touch with your body (literally), your sexuality, and your lover! If you’re having trouble in any of these areas, now may be the perfect time to reach out and schedule a session with me.

Enjoy the Merry Month of May!

 

 

Hairy Palms and Other Masturbation Myths [video]

 

Hairy palms, blindness, and several other common BS myths surrounding masturbation are dispelled in this short, affirming video. Thank you for watching!

To Forgo the “O”

Sex without orgasm? You’re jokin’, right?

Recently, I had a returning female customer come into our boutique and giddily thank me for advising her and her husband to try preventing orgasm. I remembered the woman by sight because she and her spouse had struck me as a particularly handsome older couple who were deeply in love; but frankly, I didn’t remember giving them that specific advice. “Oh yeah,” she said, “at first my husband thought you were trying to be a smartass!” Then I remembered. He’d been having a difficult time maintaining an erection, and they’d come in to our establishment to see about purchasing pleasure aids he might use to focus on giving her orgasms when he wasn’t feeling up to the task.

At the time, I’d just finished re-reading  Viktor Frankl’s classic account of surviving as a prisoner in various Nazi concentration camps entitled Man’s Search for Meaning¹. Towards the end of his autobiographical account, Frankl, a neuro-psychiatrist by profession, posits his theory of logotherapy and explains some of his techniques for working with various mental illnesses. One of the techniques he suggests involves “tricking” the brain into a sort of reverse psychology. Since I am not a mental health professional, I cannot subscribe or even explain how it works; nonetheless, I suggested this couple might try something of the sort.

I asked if they’d ever tried pleasure mapping [I’m a huge fan of the practice] and suggested that they “map” their erogenous zones together. “But,” I said, “neither of you are allowed to climax.” Her husband scoffed, “Sex without an orgasm? Where am I? You’re jokin’, right?” I explained that I thought his condition (erectile dysfunction) was perhaps exacerbated by the anxiety he was experiencing by trying so hard to make his wife orgasm via penetration. Of course, they had a lot of other options that they could explore, for example cunnilingus, arousal enhancers, adult toys, etc., that could bring both of them pleasure. I admitted that I’d be happy to sell them the latest and most expensive toys in our store; but I was curious to know whether or not they would benefit from just leisurely exploring one another’s bodies. Sometimes, when orgasm is seen as the end-all, be-all of sex, so many other pleasurable opportunities are missed.

When the woman came back to tell me how happy she had been with their pleasure mapping experiment, she said it was practically a miracle. “If it hadn’t been so passionate, it would have been funny. In fact, ____ and I laughed about it later, but he couldn’t keep from getting aroused!” I admitted that I couldn’t take credit and told her about an example from Frankl’s book wherein Frankl worked with a man who had been overwhelmed his entire life with a terrible stutter. The man was to speak publicly at a conference and sought the doctor’s help. Frankl suggested that during his speech, the man force himself to stutter throughout. The result was that the man actually couldn’t stutter.

I knew that it sounded too good to be true, but the woman assured me that she didn’t care about the “how” of it happening; she was just thrilled that she and her husband had been able to reconnect intimately and she promised she would be sharing the wonders of pleasure mapping with all of her friends.

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For more on Pleasure Mapping, see my post on Searching for Your Buried Pleasure.

¹Man’s Search for Meaning  by Viktor Frankl, 1946. [find a quick link in Resources]

What Is an Intimate Adult Sexual Relationship?

Is there a gap between what you were taught in Sex Ed at school and what you’ve experienced in real life?

Let’s face it, we don’t know what we don’t know. If you were asked to create a delicious four-course meal from scratch that would be enticing, balanced, and healthy for your dinner guest, where would you begin? Personally, I would begin by freaking out. If you’re a skilled chef, this assignment would be easy, right? But for someone like myself, who was never even offered Home Economics in school, I would be at a total loss.

I don’t even know what’s served in a four-course meal. I know appetizer, entrée, and dessert. I thought appetizers were the first course. I’m missing an entire course. And as for “balancing” a meal — what exactly is a balanced meal — does that mean I have to offer vegetables; and if I do, do they have to be green to count? If they do have to be green, I’d also like to know whether or not a box of frozen peas would be considered as cooking “from scratch” because I think it does, as long as I add some spices or something to them. I guess green peas could be enticing if I added enough butter and cheese, but then that might subtract from the healthy part of the equation. And speaking of healthy, a healthy dessert just sounds like an oxymoron to me.

So, if our culture, our churches, our families, and our friends all think that we should eventually be in an intimate adult sexual relationship … where the hell are we expected to learn how to do it?

If current data on the divorce rates is any indication, adult relationships have been miserably failing for the better part of the past thirty years or so. What the hell happened? It’s obvious that adults have been entering marriages without being properly taught the skills of effective communication, a deeper understanding of interpersonal expectations, healthy emotional boundaries, and how to be committed to their intimate lives. So, if our culture, our churches (synagogues, temples, or other homes of spirituality), our families, and our friends all think that we should eventually participate in an intimate adult sexual relationship — being successful at it, notwithstanding — where the hell are we expected to learn how to do it?

Colleges are talking a lot about everything sexual being consensual nowadays, but they’re not teaching young people how to build sexual and emotional intimacy. I wonder if the type of  “education” we are offering is a result of, or a precursor to, our new and often damaging “hook-up” culture. Because a lot of young folks are proficient at releasing sexual tension, but they woefully lack what it takes to participate in mature, emotionally healthy, sexual partnerships that develop and deepen over time. I’ve heard this is called “sharing parts, not hearts.”

For those of us who desire lasting relationships over brief encounters, answers deeper than “it’s complicated” are necessary. So, let’s break it down. Intimate Adult Sexual Relationship:

  • intimate:  arising from a close personal connection or familiar experience
  • adult: grown up; mature
  • sexual: of, relating to, or for sex
  • relationship: the way in which two people are connected

Having a mature, close personal connection with a sexual partner seems easy enough, right?

According to Elizabeth Entenman, “Being in a relationship means you’re in a relationship with your entire partner; you can’t pick and choose which parts you do and don’t like. Along with the good comes the bad, and being a partner means embracing all of someone.”¹ Okay I’ll admit, that does sound complicated, but not impossible.

So, maybe not everyone wants to be in a lasting intimate adult sexual relationship. But, for those who do, it’s important to acknowledge that fostering deep emotional intimacy is crucial to building a healthy, solid sexual relationship. If you are interested in learning more, I’d love to hear from you.

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What Being in a Relationship Really Means,” by Elizabeth Entenman for The datemix via zoosk, September 3, 2017

Life is Messy

Life is messy. We all know it. It is inconsistent and contradictory. It can be smooth sailing one minute and topsy turvy the next. The only constant we can rely on in this world is change. Change often brings conflict and stress. That is why it is so important that when two unique souls come together in a relationship they set boundaries and expectations and have a clear vision for their relationship together as a team. Having cohesive boundaries and explicit expectations within any familial relationship are paramount to maintaining the mental and emotional health of each of its members. It is the only way that they will be able to weather the storms life throws their way.

My spice and I are such firm believers in the messiness of life that we chose it as our family motto, vita est nuntius (“Life is messy”). We didn’t chose this motto from a stance of fear or as a warning, per se; rather we proclaim life’s messiness as a rallying cry for our family to be always prepared. To know that we are always and forever on the same team. We want to live fully, facing Life head on; and we want our children to be brave when facing the messiness of living full and daring lives. Perhaps this decision to see our family as a team, as a unit, a clan (we are Clan Allen, after all), stemmed from my spice’s military experience as a Marine. He knows firsthand the importance of the semper fidelis.

When my children were young, I would tell them every time they left our home that they were entering the “mission field” as a reminder that they would face challenges to their faith, their beliefs, and their world as they new it — certainly not to instill fear, but to nurture their emotional and mental foundation, knowing that home, The Home Clan Allen Builds, is always their fortress of refuge and strength. Home is always the one place they can come to be loved and embraced fully for who they are.

Three of Clan Allen’s explicit expectations are that: (1) we are a team and stand together protecting our family from anyone or anything that might break up our unity, (2) we are to live to the best of our ability, and with God’s merciful help, Ephesians 4:31-32: “Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,” [which I’ll admit is often much easier quoted than done!]; and (3) only one of us gets to be “crazy” at a time. Again I’ll admit, this is easier said than done — especially when we had three teenagers in the home at the same time. Alas…

Of course it hasn’t always been smooth sailing for Clan Allen. In our messy lives together, we’ve often had to remind one another, and especially our children, that Hey, we are on the same team here. Of course because life is messy, many boundaries have been crossed and expectations haven’t always been met, but having them in place has been the cornerstone of our family’s sanity. What boundaries and expectations have you and your partner, your teammate in Life, set for your familial relationships?

 

 

He Said Whaaat?

       Did you know “communication stress” can be one of the biggest sources of stress in relationships?

Communication. How do we communicate? Even the experts cannot agree on how many different communications styles actually exist, so how is the average Jane supposed to know how to communicate effectively? We all like to think we’re saying exactly what we mean, but when you have different styles of communication in one dialogue, things can get really confusing. Miscommunication can accelerate a discussion into an argument in only seconds. And, the reason communication is so important in a relationship is because miscommunication can lead to conflict, misunderstandings, stress, and worse.

One thing all linguistic and communication experts can agree on is that communication styles exist along a continuum. The ease or difficulty of expressing yourself and understanding you partner lies in determining how far you and your partner are from one another along the line of opposing communication extremes. And, while there can be many influences on communication styles (such as age, culture, status, geography, and even more) gender differences play a crucial role in communication.

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Scientific research has shown the men and women actually use different parts of their brain while listening which can lead to what is called conversational disconnect. I’m sure my spice would love to be able to blame our breakdowns in communication on science rather than indifference! Instead, communication is a lot more complex. Verbal, non-verbal, aggressive, passive-aggressive, assertive, manipulative, and passive communications with direct vs. indirect styles … it’s a wonder that any person can ever understand what anyone else is actually saying.

Three Perceptual Positions

 

     Have you ever listened to a couple having a conversation, and realized that neither of them are actually talking about the same thing?

Three very important things I’ve learned in life concerning communication in general are:

  1. People don’t usually listen to us in order to understand what we are saying; instead, they listen in order to respond to what we are saying.
  2. Even when people are listening to really hear us, they hear us from their own perspective, not our perspective.
  3. In any given conflict, the Truth of that situation tends to lie somewhere in the middle.

So, ladies, if you’re in a relationship with a man, this stuff is really worth investigating. The more we are aware of all the differences, the more successful we will be in communicating to get our message out in a clear and understandable manner; plus, it may help keep us from coming to wrong conclusions while listening to our partners speak. In the midst of a discussion, few couples want to stop and say, “Hey, why don’t we analyze what we’re actually trying to say here before this gets outta hand?”. It’s especially difficult  to do during a discussion or debate that is already ramping up.

One of my favorite sources on male and female differences in communication style is You Just Don’t Understand, written by the esteemed linguistic expert Deborah Tannen. I was introduced to her while at Texas Tech University and I’ve since become a something of a fan-girl.  You’re welcome to check out my resource page, on which I assure you, you’ll find her work.