Hairy Palms and Other Masturbation Myths [video]

 

Hairy palms, blindness, and several other common BS myths surrounding masturbation are dispelled in this short, affirming video. Thank you for watching!

Q & A: Why Don’t Women Climax As Easily as Men?

Question: “I understand that the clitoris has as many, or possibly even more, nerve endings than the glans of the penis. Since the glans of the clitoris is smaller than the glans of the penis these nerve endings are closer together thus making the clitoris very sensitive. So why is it that so many women seem to need vibrator stimulation in order to climax while men climax quite easily with just manual stimulation?” O.G.

Answer: Some women are actually overstimulated by clitoral vibrations. Each woman’s body is so very different. Some need only a bit of manual stimulation and some need a lot, and some require vibes. Some don’t like direct clitoral stimulation at all. Also, because the external clitoris is “hidden” under a fold of skin (the hood), it does not usually receive enough stimulation during coitus — whereas the penis is literally CENTRAL to the sex act for men.

Some researchers have found that orgasms tend to have “use it or lose it” patterns. Since male masturbation is more culturally acceptable, young men begin masturbating at an earlier age. Some women never do. These research findings lean towards “proof” that it’s actually more common for men to climax “more readily” than women in general.

Also, arousal and orgasms actually happen in the brain. And, it’s been scientifically proven time and again that women’s arousal response (in general) is a slower burn — HOWEVER, the average time for direct stimulation for men to climax is four minutes — almost exactly the same average time for women [who are already in a state of arousal] to climax with clitoral stimulation. Food for thought?

Another reason may be religious repression. Women grow up with the adage that “good girls” don’t have sex until marriage — and even then, they are expected to just do it for their husband’s pleasure or for the sake of the marriage. This type of shame-filled message is not conducive to a healthy outlook on sexuality, especially one that calls for enjoyment, for women and can actually be quite harmful. How’s a gal to climax with all that garbage in her head?

 

Supporting Adult Sex and Pleasure Education

Sex education in America sucks. And, not in a good way. Many women, rather than embracing and celebrating their feminine sexuality, are suffering with feelings of shame and disdain because of distressing religious judgment and crappity-crap cultural conditioning. These women are then expected to enter into long-lasting relationships and marriages and react as authentic sensual beings. Shyuh, right! Not only is this an unrealistic assumption, it is a likely recipe for an unhealthy esteem, unhappy relationships, and relentless intimacy discontent. Is it any wonder the divorce rate in America is so abysmally high? 

Together we can educate and liberate women from all walks of life. Together we can help our fellow human beings overcome shame and improve and deepen their intimate connections. Let’s do this.

Join me in my mission to save sex lives!

How to Choose the Right Vibrator for YOU (video)

If you haven’t been to an adult toy store in a while, you may be surprised at how much the industry has grown. Seeing all the options can be overwhelming! Whether or not you are new to the wonderful world of adult pleasure products, you may learn something new when you check out my video about choosing vibrators. In this video [created for viewers 18 years old or older], I  discuss different styles, sizes, materials, and uses to consider when choosing sexual products to add to your grown-up toy chest.

For more information about advanced sexuality and pleasure, or about choosing and using adult pleasure products, you may easily contact Micki here.

Introducing Sex Toys to Your Lover (Video)

hot to choose a vibrator

It isn’t always easy to share our intimate desires like our eagerness to share adult pleasure products with our lovers. In this video [created for viewers 18 years old or older], I address the two main concerns women have when considering asking their partner to bring sexual products into their bedroom.

For more information about advanced sexuality and pleasure, or about choosing and using adult pleasure products, you may easily contact Micki here.

Ways to Spice up Your Sex Life, Pt. 1

Having sex with your partner within the same four walls all the time can get a bit bland, regardless of how much you enjoy one another. Adding even a little variety can make a big difference by taking simple satisfaction to a thrilling indulgence of amorous adventure with your lover. Here are a few tips to broaden your sexy scope.

SPICIN’ IT UP IN THE BEDROOM

Staying in for the evening doesn’t mean you and your partner have to eat take-out dinners while lounging in PJs in front of the boob tube. Unless, that’s what really floats your boat. If it isn’t, here are some ideas to get your more creative juices flowing.

Read Some Erotica Together. Read any good romantic (or racy) books lately? Share your favorite, most liberating parts — you know, the ones that are already dog-eared in that bedside paperback — with your lover. Under the pretense of “just for fun” you can open a dialogue about things you’d like to try with your sweetheart under the sheets. Does your fave novel happen to be a period piece? It may even lead to a little …

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Once upon a midnight dreary…

Role Play. Ever wondered what it would be like to be rescued by a gallant knight in shining armor or escape into the arms of a hot and handsome fire chief? There’s no time like tonight to find out. Of course, you don’t have to dress up for a performance in the Globe Theatre just to play dress up. A few simple props are likely to be hidden in the crap-catcher drawer of your kitchen or study. Grab that wooden ruler and discipline your naughty student, Headmistress. Even a potato peeler lends itself to KP duty in the ship’s galley for bad behavior, Sailor. Of course, all you really need is a pair of boxers to go toe-toe with a professional boxer. That’s really what boxer-briefs are for after all, right?

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How many rounds will you go tonight?

Strike a Pose. Speaking of role playing… how about being a professional model undressing for the sexy studmuffin behind the camera? Invite your partner to pull out their iPhone and snap a few racy pics to perk them up when they’re feeling down. Or, turn the camera on your partner and take a few to keep for yourself to browse during the wearisome wait in car line after school or on your lengthy commute home from the office. The shoot can be as innocent or as daring as the two of you agree on, providing privacy is not an issue.

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Let him keep a little evidence of your love.

Clean up Together… in the Nude. If it has to be done, it might as well lead to a little loving, no? Nude housework keeps both sets of your clothes from getting dirty and saves time on doing laundry. It will also give you and your partner something exciting to look at while you’re dusting or doing dishes. Be sure to pay extra special attention to tidying up the jiggly bits when y’all are done. You may want to save the bedroom for last.

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Soap suds are the only things you can wear.

Share Playtime with Toys. Y’know, the grown up kind that get your engine revved up and the sort that go buzz in the night. If you haven’t visited a toy store for grown ups in the past ten or fifteen years, or ever, I promise you it’s no longer the secret walk of shame your grandpa took back in the day. Gone are the dark, seedy, sticky back alley XXX sex shops of yesteryear. Since women have been moving to the forefront of the adult novelties industry, the assortment and varieties of pleasure products, as well as the venues they’re sold in, have changed — much for the better, mind you. There are so many options to choose from for both men and women now, it’s a good idea to do a little research or speak with someone knowledgeable to know what to shop for beforehand.

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Shopping together for toys fosters intimacy.

Get Silly. Laughter, it is said, is great for your overall well-being as well as your sexy time together. Tonight, before lights out, why not try a little lighthearted play — or even friendly competition and see who wins? You might try to communicate with each other completely in Pig Latin (ememberray atthay?) and see who can do it the longest. Share the raciest, sexiest jokes you know. Watch a favorite romantic comedy together. Or, have a playful pillow fight to get the adrenaline rushing.

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Winner takes all.

Get Saucy. Licking a luscious line of chocolate sauce off and up your honey’s thighs or slurping a shot of tequila from between her breasts is really hot. Just be sure to use your better judgement and a light hand. Stick to the fleshier parts of your lover’s bod, because cleanin’ Cool Whip out of your hair isn’t quite as exciting as it sounds. Still, bringing refreshments into the bedroom can make for some good, if not completely clean, fun! How many ways can you seductively peel a banana? It’s worth a try, Girlfriend! And don’t worry, if your midnight snack acts as foreplay to sexy time in the tub, it’s okay to get a lil’ messy. Sheets, blankets, and whatnot are all safely washable.

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Keep clean-up in mind.

Move Out of Your Comfort Zone. If there are any sexy ideas that you and your lover have considered playing with in the past, take action now and try them out. Consider yourselves dared. You don’t have to bring out the whips and the gimp, but head towards more daring action. Whether the two of you have teased about watching porn together¹ and acting it out or tryin’ a little bondage mixed with power play; as long as you’re both consenting and have a mutually agreed on safe word² in place, push those boundaries, you sexy couple you. Go for it! 

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Spare the rod, spoil the sub.

Share a Sexy Wish List Sometimes it can be difficult to actually give voice to your more secret sensual desires, even when you’re decidedly good at communicating your, shall we say, less sexy wants and needs with your mate. Grocery lists come to mind and they’re pretty yawn-worthy. So, why not share a sexy wish list, one in which both partners list, or check off, the spicier things they’d like to try? You can find one online and print out two copies, one for each partner. Fill them out separately before you come back together to compare notes. If the thought of laying bare all of your racy thoughts is too nerve-wracking, you may want to try the interactive sex questionnaire at Mojo Upgrade. It only reveals the fantasies that both partners would agree on. I haven’t tried this one, but a fellow sex educator I greatly admire, Kait Scalisi recommends it.

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What’s on your sexy wish list?

By no means, is this spicy advice exhaustive, but hopefully, it encourages you and yours to examine your more erotic natures. Be sure to continue reading about enjoying a little sensual refreshment outside the bedroom with Ways to Spice up Your Sex Life, Pt. 2… coming soon.


¹ This lass isn’t super keen on the adult entertainment industry as a whole. For every beauty or beau performer it liberates and indulges, it spits out hundreds of lost unhappy souls in its wake. Thankfully, taboos are falling, more women are gaining positions of power, and folks are becoming more educated, thus providing more ethical options for adult entertainment. Also, porn is not education. Porn is not realistic. Personally, I prefer reading erotica and educational books for lively ideas. You can watch my video on the subject here.

² A safe word is a word that you and your partner can say at any time to stop an undesired action.