5 Ways to Be An ALLY to the LGBTQ Community

Wrapping up Pride Month shouldn’t be the end of our love and support for our friends and family in the Queer Community. Here are five simple habits that I’ve found to be effective and respectful ways to be a friend and ally.

  1. Know that all fellow human beings are worthy of dignity and respect. Wow, that’s an easy one, right?
  2. Don’t assume that everyone you know or meet is straight, cisgendered, or even binary. Instead of asking someone who presents themselves as masculine, “do you have a girlfriend/wife?” instead ask, “do you have a partner/are you in a relationship?” in order to let them feel comfortable filling in the blanks for you if they so choose.
  3. When meeting new people, be the first to share your “preferred pronouns.” For example, “Hi, my name is Micki. I prefer/my pronouns are she/her/hers.” This is a very simple but clear way to let your new acquaintance know that you aren’t making assumptions about their personal gender preferences.
  4. Don’t be afraid to let people know that anti-LGBTQ comments or jokes are not acceptable in your presence. Standing up for outliers, including the queer community, is always a good thing. My go-to line is, “Wow, that’s a really hurtful thing to say about another human being.” Most of the time, the offender actually apologizes.
  5. Never be afraid to ask, “What can I do to support you?”

Gay Christianity is Not an Oxymoron [video series]

An oxymoron is a figure of speech in which two apparently contradictory terms appear together; for example, the expression “thundering silence” seems to contradict itself — thunder being a loud sound and silence being the absence of sound. There are those who believe that, if you are a Christian, you cannot be gay (or lesbian, or bisexual, or trans, or anyone under the queer umbrella) and vice-versa. Some believe that if you are a Christian, you cannot support gays (et al.). In my current series, Gay Christianity is Not an Oxymoron, I refute this seeming paradox.

Part One: Sacred Scripture

In the first part of this series, I discuss how early Christians learned their faith, how the Western World formed the Bible and various translations, before asking viewers to consider the differing religious philosophies and cultural biases which influenced translations and interpretations of Sacred Scripture.

Part Two: Specific Scriptures

In the second part of this series, I discuss specific scriptures that are often used as weapons against the LGBTQ community, and how the context of these scriptures may be seen in a different light.

Part Three: Christ’s Mission

In the third part of this series, I focus on Christ’s Mission and the Body of Christ to show that our Christian brothers and sisters, called to Christ by the Holy Spirit, are to be embraced, regardless of our opinions or beliefs.

 

In Honor of Pride Month: This Christian Ally’s Credo

Coloful Jesus fish logo
The symbol of the Christian fish in a rainbow of lovely colors.

Dear Friends,

As you’ve likely figured out by now, I am a practicing (as in, “I’m workin’ at it, y’all, and am by no means perfect at it yet”) Christian. As someone who has professed for over forty years a deep and abiding love for God Our Creator, I believe that every single human life is created in God’s perfect image, and regardless of religion, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation, is precious and worthy of dignity and respect as such. I also believe in the fundamental goodness of all humans’ sexuality, as it is a God-given gift.

I believe the Church’s mission should be to share Christ’s light and love with all people and for all people. “And he said to them, ‘Go into all the world and proclaim the good news to the whole creation.'” (Mark 15:16) There is no disclaimer to His “whole creation;” therefore, those who would scorn some of God’s children make a mockery of Agape. Discrimination is anathema to His godly compassion. “Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.” (John 3:17)

I firmly believe that all of God’s children have a unique purpose and position in God’s Kingdom and that all individuals within the Body of Christ need one another, can learn from one another’s strengths, and should respond to one another’s needs. “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’” (1 Cor. 12:21)

Having family members and friends themselves active in the LGBTQ community, I have striven to be inclusive and affirming for as long as I can remember; and, I actually began my journey into sexual health education as a student liaison for the South Plains AIDS Resource Center (SPARC) in 1990. My training in advanced sexuality and pleasure education is from the Institute for Sexuality Education and Enlightenment, which is LGBT-friendly and offers a holistic model of sex education, and I have participated in training with the Safe Zone Project. And, Lord willin’, I will be completing my training with the Incarnation Institute of Sex and Faith this year. I invite folks to hold me accountable to my credo.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
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Why Dutch Teens Have Better Sexual Health Than American Teens – Justin Lehmiller

Dr. Justin Lehmiller, the creator of the blog site Sex and Psychology, shares some interesting ideas and intriguing facts about the state of adolescent sexual health in America and abroad.

This week in my study abroad course on sex and culture in the Netherlands, we’re focusing on cross-cultural differences in sexual health and sex education. As a starting point, we’re reviewing some statistics that highlight how dramatically different teens’ sexual health outcomes are in the Netherlands relative to the U.S. Check out the infographic below for a quick overview, which shows that teen girls in the Netherlands have much lower rates of pregnancy, birth, and abortion. Below, we’ll discuss why.

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Check out his full article posted here.

Leave Me A Link and I’ll Share Your Page!!

Check out this amazing networking opportunity for bloggers at Danny’s inspirational and thought-provoking website Dream Big Dream Often. A smart and talented thinker, Danny has amassed a following of over 7 thousand fellow dreamers with BIG hearts and wisdom. I check in with them often and encourage you to do likewise. You’re welcome! xox

Yes, I’m a Christian Sex and Relationship Coach [video]

How can I be sex-positive and a Christian at the same time? Because I love Christ and I love helping people reverse sexual shame, repression, and negativity. I share why in this video.

Talking with Young People About Consent [video]

Join Micki and her daughter as they discuss the important topic of sexual consent. Consent is Clear (an enthusiastic “yes!”), Continuous (can be revoked or retracted at any time), Conscious (informed and sober), and Coercion-free (not “guilted” or manipulated).

The number 1 reason for PAIN involved with SEX Revealed [Guest Post by Myola Woods]

One in Three Women experiences pain during sex. Why is this so … and can we do something about it?

The good news is, we can do something about it. Imagine living in a world where people had sex and felt pleasure and ecstasy – we would be living in a new paradigm.

Here it is, the number 1 reason for painful sex is (insert drum roll)…….

Tension…. ( And no, I don’t mean the good sexy sexual tension )… I mean body tension, mental tension, emotional tension, a spiritual tension of oneself.

When we have tension in our bodies – in simple terms – when our nervous system is in fight and flight, our psoas muscle (along with others) contract, upsetting our digestion, our pelvis and doesn’t send the arousing messages we want…and need in our bodies.

Even if we can get our nervous system to relax, often we have years of tension in our pelvises and genitals. I hear you saying “Myola… please explain!???”

Have you ever had or noticed tension in your neck or shoulders? Our pelvises and genitals are no different as body parts they store tension and in particular, they also have added tension from possibly years of uncomfortable menstruating, birthing, holding, contracting, not to mention if there are trauma and abuse.

With all this built up muscular and body contraction and tension, it can be very difficult to have pleasure or… to even notice pleasure and arousal!!!

All this tension, how do we let it go…

Here are my 5 steps to REMOVING TENSION in and from the body:

  1. Slow down and breath deeply, notice what is happening in your body, are you aware of the tension, where is it? If you bring further attention to your pelvis… what do you notice?
  2. Often the word ‘relax’ does not help, after working with many clients the word ‘soften’ seems to have a better result… try words on for yourself and allowing the body to soften, hmmm asking where else can my body soften? How much more could I soften.
  3. Put your hands on your pelvis / and or genitals and intending to breath into these areas and notice what is happening, what can you notice with your hands and what can you notice from the inside of the body as you are holding it?
  4. Is there anything to be spoken about, often tension is caused because we hold back our emotions, our words, our feelings – the good, the bad and the ugly if not expressed WILL find a way to be stored in the body.  It is not always appropriate or possible to have to speak with an actual person, it is more often important that the body feels and finds a way to express itself.
  5. Ask the body, I know we think the body knows nothing and often we override it and tell it what to do, eat and wear. When we build communication with the body in some of the simplest conversations we build trust and know, we can then move to more crucial topics.  One of the best ways is to ask the body if it is ready for intimacy, sex and penetration, because it is happening either ‘to’ or ‘with’ the body…. Which would YOU prefer?

These steps take practice, they take time, they take slowness to really appreciate our bodies, the messages and how it speaks to and through us.

Many of my clients come to me in pain and they have tried many, many, many ways (that’s lots!) to get out of the pain, for all of them it is a journey of deep self discovery, softening and opening to a new way of being

When most of my new clients come to me, the pleasure was really the last thing on their minds… they just didn’t want pain!… Once the pain was taken care of and in stages, they learned, remembered, enjoyed and looked forward to pleasure as their new ‘normal’.

Pleasure is a paradigm a choice and we can move from PAIN to PLEASURE…..With a whole lotta fun in between!!!

Let’s get started… your transformation begins now!

***

Myola Woods is an Author, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Somatic Sex Educator and International Intimacy & Relationship Coach.

Myola is a pioneer with courage who bravely speaks about the things that make most of us uncomfortable… Myola will gently lead you out of your comfort zone and into the zone of personal growth and higher self awareness.

Myola specialises in teaching individuals and couples the art of connection, creating and cultivating the choice of arousal, to deepen intimacy, sensation and pleasure … even if it has been a very long time!

As a Sexual being, mother of 4 teenagers and pleasure enthusiast, Myola appreciates the time constraints, daily and social pressures, that can play havoc on our erotic lives. Myola teaches ways to explore and enhance your love making in everyday life. Using techniques and practices that can turn you, and your life, ON.

Take your intimate life from ordinary to extraordinary! Have the orgasms you have read and dreamed about….. YOU deserve them!

So, if you have had enough of mediocre, ready for change and desiring intimacy, connection and arousal, STOP wishing and hoping and START Now! Contact Myola TODAY!. myola@eroticcoaching.com.au 0423919270 www.eroticcoaching.com.au

The Merry Month of May…sturbation

Traditional May Celebrations

Traditionally, the month of May marks the return of springtime in the Northern Hemisphere. The first day of May, also known as May Day, is still celebrated in many parts of the globe. The ancient Celts called May Day “Beltane”—the day halfway between spring and summer as the time of fecundity and growth.

Because of its pagan origins, over the centuries, the May Day celebrations were actually banned. But they kept reappearing and, over time, the spring dances and festivals associated with it became more accepted. The revelries were adopted by other cultures with less sexual tones so that now, even religious persons anticipate the month for various reasons.

May as International Masturbation Month

The first National Masturbation Day was observed May 14, 1995, after a sex-positive retailer declared the day in honor of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who suggested that masturbation be added as part of the sex education curriculum in the United States. If only our young people were so fortunate! Anyhooo…. The prominent day was soon adopted by other Western countries and is now so popular a concept that May is celebrated as International Masturbation Month.

Fact vs Fiction about Masturbation

For the record, masturbation is totally natural — and yes, it is normal to masturbate, whether you’re sexually active in a relationship or not. There are tons of myths meant to scare you into thinking masturbation is wrong or bad. They’re actually scare-tactics left over from a bygone era. If you haven’t seen my video which dispels common masturbation myths, you may watch it here.

If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of masturbation, especially for religious reasons, you may find some helpful information here. If you’re unsure about finding your pleasure zones for masturbation, be sure to check out my article on Searching for Your Buried Pleasure here. Not only is masturbation completely natural, masturbation even has these potential health benefits:

  • releases sexual tension
  • relieves muscle tension
  • eases headaches
  • relieves menstrual cramps
  • reduces stress and anxiety
  • helps you sleep better
  • improves your self-esteem and body image
  • helps treat various sexual problems
  • strengthens the muscle tone in your pelvic floor (which supports your bladder, uterus, and anal area)

Masturbation, whether solo or with your partner (mutual masturbation), can also significantly improve your love life. It allows you to both be vulnerable with one another in a loving way, which always improves communication with a trusted loved one. Learning your pleasure points and those of your lover is also a terrific way to communicate intimately with your lover and help you both bring more pleasure to one another during lovemaking.

You Have a Right to Enjoy Your Body and Your Sexuality

Our bodies and our sexuality are both God-given gifts. May is a time to celebrate both fertility and growth; as you can imagine, this time of year is great for getting in touch with your body (literally), your sexuality, and your lover! If you’re having trouble in any of these areas, now may be the perfect time to reach out and schedule a session with me.

Enjoy the Merry Month of May!